Parents play an integral part in determining your world view, the habits, and the nudging to extra-curricular that eventually turned into unique strengths in your career and for your post-MBA goals. In MBA application essays, you must be strategic and thoughtful when quoting your parents.
1) Your Parent # You
While brainstorming for the essays, I quickly recognize the appreciation the applicants has for the parents, typically one parent, or the conscious choices the applicants took not to follow their parent’s footstep. For the latter, it is easier to convey the idea that your parent # you. When we are stuck in finding the most relevant life experiences and career choices, applicants tend to find a shortcut – take on the identity of the parent and narrate their life.
A hook in the opening line of an Essay about your parent is one thing. An essay entirely dedicated to the parent’s life choices could easily distract the admissions team.
a) List the habits that were inculcated by your parents
b) List the extra-curricular that were introduced by your parents
c) List the conflicts with your parents that helped your frame your life and career choices
Choose only one of the three lists and quote one example from your parent’s life to connect your values, career choices, or life choices.
2) The Diplomat or World Traveler
I might be typecasting the kids of the world traveler or the Diplomat, but when I hear that my parents traveled extensively and we were never in one city, I immediately watch out for cues of social ineptness. It is one thing to have extensive travel experience as a 20-something professional, but during developing years when social skills are metamorphosing, travel has proven to be detrimental to a child’s psychological development.
Would the admissions team evaluate such nuanced studies while evaluating your candidacy? Probably, not.
We also have used “forced to make friends in different cities” as a narrative tool for such profiles to demonstrate adaptiveness in an international class. I worry that such narratives have become cliches now.
A better approach would be to go to the specifics of one culture and share an experience that changed your worldview.
Change always read well in an essay.
3) Entrepreneurial Parents
A typecast that works in your favor is the narrative of an Entrepreneurial parent. From small business owners to restaurants to businesses that grew to global brands, children of entrepreneurs experience extreme emotions of success, failure, and uncertainty at an early age.
With the fluctuations, such applicants become grounded to the brutality of the market and take on their parent’s zen attitude towards success and failure. For such applicants, parents have a direct influence on how they see the world and their post-MBA goals. They tend to have a ‘world-changing’ post-MBA goal. Not the typical, I want to get into the X industry Y function that occupies most of the essays.
As a consultant, my role is to again separate their career from their parents. They are not their parents. Sure, the applicants have the resources to take a shot at a business idea. But there are no guarantees if the person has not shown any interest in starting ventures on their own.
The admissions team looks at the feasibility of the goals from a resource, aptitude, past successes, and learning perspective. This is the only typecast where parent’s support improves the feasibility of a post-MBA goal if it is entrepreneurial in nature.
4) Parents who are School Alumni
Legacy admissions are an open secret. If your parent is from the university or the business school, your chance of admissions increases by at least 30%.
I looked at the trend outside the prism of ‘injustice’ and found a common thread with an experience I had recently.
While discussing with a potential client, he asked me, ‘what advantages do I offer compared to a consultant with an MBA.’ My first instinct was to shout, “1000+ pages with 100+ sample essays is not enough for you to judge my skills as a writer and consultant”. Then I recognized that he has not read my book. Clients who have read my book – the Winning MBA Essay Guide, approach the discussions with a completely different set of questions to someone who is starting their research.
If your parent is from the school, you understand the culture and the impact the network and learning experience had on their career.
It is much easier for schools to onboard you to the class and, eventually, the Alumni network. It is highly likely that a legacy admit would continue to contribute financially and through networks since they are already part of the network and benefited from the association..
5) Habits and Values
I am currently at the phase where my kids are slowly showing interest in reading. I have the bookshelf close to their bed with a new pictorial storybook added every week. Initially, they looked at the books as a no play zone with little interest, but by opening and closing the shelf, taking out colorful books to read an interesting story, I set a habit that has now turned into auto-pilot mode.
Before going to sleep, they open the shelf and read their favorite book.
As a parent, did I create the cues and set habits that turned into an interest in reading? Of course, I did.
Similarly, your parents – unknown to you might have started subtle habits that have become integral to your thinking and strengths. If you can’t shortlist the habits, start a discussion with your parent and ask them what your likes and dislikes were as a 3 or 4-year old. The seeds of our interest are sown way earlier than we imagine.
Values are an altogether different thing. Although parent’s influence on your values is strong, the neighborhood, the personal setbacks, travel experience as an adult, the exposure to an ideology (liberal, conservative or libertarian), mentors, and your friends have a far higher consequence on your values.
Quote your parents but be careful.
Once you demonstrate the origin of your values, habits, interest, or strengths, quickly pivot to you – the protagonist in the essay.
About the Author
Atul Jose is the Founding Editor and MBA Admissions Consultant at F1GMAT. He has read and helped applicants fine-tune their essays to include their parent's role through thoughtful and believable narratives. If you need help with turning around cliched essays on childhood experiences to stories relevant for your post-MBA goals, strengths, or weaknesses, use the contact form to start the conversation on essays or add him through LinkedIn.
