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Personal Intervention (299 words): Tuck MBA Sense of Inclusion Essay

Background Information: The applicant notices one person in his team consistently underperforming. His humane intervention to address the personal challenges helped the teammate rise to a star performer. 

Theme: Inclusion, Mentorship

Theme (Explained): Often, mentorship when a peer or a sub-ordinate underperforms need context-setting about the problem.

For the essay, the theme of the intervention is holistic mentorship where the person’s personal challenges are handled sensitively.

Profile: Venture Capital Associate

Industry: Finance

MBA Essay Strategy: Setting up the reasons for the underperformance need some comparable metrics – either with peers or a performance from a different time of the employment. 

For the narrative, the performance metrics that is compared is a year and half before when the person was the top performer.
The fall in performance and lack of commitment to interviewing entrepreneurs were visible even among her peers. 

Realizing that without intervention, the person might lose her job that she worked hard to pivot, the applicant intervenes and address a personal crisis the person was facing. 

By sharing an idea to address the problem without the need to sacrifice time in the office, the applicant solves a financial and logistical problem

Opener: Starting with the problem statement of the theme is one way to keep the focus on the crux of the theme.


Sample Tuck Meaningfully contributed to someone else’s sense of inclusion in your professional or personal community (Personal Intervention for Professional Growth)(299 Words)

For my first project as a team lead, I noticed that <X> was consistently behind the timeline. This came as a shock. She was a star performer in our AI investment niche since she pivoted from technology to our VC team. Her strategies to find industries with the highest probability of integrating AI helped us prioritize investing in entrepreneurs serving these industries. 

To empower X to her former best self, I tried all the classic task management strategies and guaranteed her position even ..

 

Read how the applicant empathetically approached the teammate’s problem, and helped her find solutions that offered her time to meaningfully balance her personal and professional goals 

About the Author 

Atul Jose - Founding Consultant F1GMAT

I am Atul Jose - the Founding Consultant at F1GMAT.

Over the past 15 years, I have helped MBA applicants gain admissions to Harvard, Stanford, Wharton, MIT, Chicago Booth, Kellogg, Columbia, Haas, Yale, NYU Stern, Ross, Duke Fuqua, Darden, Tuck, IMD, London Business School, INSEAD, IE, IESE, HEC Paris, McCombs, Tepper, and schools in the top 30 global MBA ranking. 

I offer end-to-end Admissions Consulting and editing services – Career Planning, Application Essay Editing & Review, Recommendation Letter Editing, Interview Prep, assistance in finding funds and Scholarship Essay & Cover letter editing. See my Full Bio.

Contact me for support in school selection, career planning, essay strategy, narrative advice, essay editing, interview preparation, scholarship essay editing and guiding supervisors with recommendation letter guideline documents

I am also the Author of the Winning MBA Essay Guide, covering 16+ top MBA programs with 240+ Sample Essays that I have updated every year since 2013 (11+ years. Phew!!)

I am an Admissions consultant who writes and edits Essays every year. And it is not easy to write good essays. 

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