An FP&A MBA applicant has the unique opportunity to position themselves as the 'consultant' who can't hide from their own judgment. The admissions team might not necessarily understand this subtle difference if you position yourself as a Consultant or an audit person.
FP&A MBA applicants must resist the urge to merge into the identity of a Finance and Strategy consultant who presents the recommendations and rotates between client deliverables. The work a consultant does is deep, but the accountability ends at the final deliverable, even if consulting engagements have evolved to an implementation-incentivized model.
The temptation to position yourself as a consultant is understandable. Their role involves persuading the leadership where they don't have direct authority – a soft skill narrative that stands out in a crowded finance applicant pool.
In the case of an FP&A applicant – the difference is in explaining the misses to the same leadership, quarter by quarter, year by year.
It would be impossible for your supervisor not to know your judgment.
That is why your essays should avoid these 10 cliches in the opening line.
Contents
- Cliche #1: The Trusted Advisor
- Cliche #2: Metric Overload
- Cliche #3: Summary of the Role
- Cliche #4: FP&A Is Not Accounting
- Cliche #5: The Night Owl
- Cliche #6: Numbers Since Childhood
- Cliche #7: The Investor Quote
- Cliche #8: The Mega-cap Name-Drop
- Cliche #9: The Macro Zoom-Out
- Cliche #10: AI Is Reshaping Finance
Cliche #1: The Trusted Advisor
"I had defended the $4M commitment in three deal reviews. In the fourth, I requested the CFO to lower the estimate to $2.2M."
Why it Fails: The opener is meant to create a strong emotion, but it neither captures the dilemma nor positions the applicant for her high EQ. The line became a summary of a responsibility that an FP&A often makes.
Better Alternative
"I had defended that forecast in two reviews. In the third, I swallowed my pride, accepted that my assumption was wrong, and recommended to our CFO to cut the estimate by 200 basis points"
The reversal of expectation is the hook for the admissions team.
The admissions committee will immediately recognize the applicant's high EQ in accepting her limitations in reading all the complexity of a function
Cliche #2: Metric Overload
"NRR came in at 104 against a 112 plan, CAC payback stretched to 19 months, and gross retention held at 91. I had no choice but to take a $6M haircut to second-half bookings."
Why it Fails: Openers with too many metrics will remind the AdCom of your resume. In a resume, there is no other way. The format is a 1-page document. You have to cram in multiple KPI and impact metrics, but essays are your thoughts. Don't start with 2-5 numbers.
Start with one.
Better Alternative
"Revenue came in 12% below forecast, and every eye in the room turned to me."
You are not even mentioning the KPI – just 12% below forecast.
The admissions person is unlikely to be a finance person.
You don't have to write like how you submit a report to a CFO.
Keep it simple
Cliche #3: Summary of the Role
"I turn data into stories that drive decisions."
Why It Fails: This cliché has spread across functions and is most visible in Finance where an applicant summarizes their role in the opener.
This is the new rehashing of the resume, albeit only the role part.
Better Alternative
"The health score rated the account green on the charts, but when I looked closer, the numbers were -2%."
This is a contradictory – spot the inconsistency technique where you force the admissions person to notice the inconsistency.
-2% vs. green on the charts.
The incomprehensibility of 'health score' is another way to force the AdCom to keep reading.
Cliche #4: FP&A Is Not Accounting
"FP&A is not accounting. Accountants look backward. We look forward."
Why It Fails: This is a desperate attempt of an FP&A applicant to compare themselves to an accounting person and nudge the AdCom in a not-so-subtle way and say, "I am better than them"
Better Alternative
"I knew we were running in the red, but I had to defend a $3m spend. That was our only way to stay competitive this year"
The dilemma line as an opener keeps the reader interested in your story.
By design, we as a species are attracted to conflicts – internal or external.
Dilemma is the perfect tool to capture that internal conflict.
Cliche #5: The Night Owl
"It was 2 a.m. before the board meeting, and I was still rebuilding the model."
Why it Fails: Technologists and IB folks are known to use 'The hard worker' or the 'Night Owl' opener to show the commitment.
An opener about stamina just shows where you are inefficient
Better Alternative
"It was 6 am, 5 hours from my presentation. I changed one input - the share of support tickets an agent resolves without a person and the cost to the company dropped by $3 million."
The first thing in the morning routine shows your preparedness.
Cliche #6: Numbers Since Childhood
"I loved numbers ever since I balanced my family's budget at the age of 7"
Why it Fails: I have read some version of this line as an opener over the past decade. It only works if the applicant was genuinely involved in the family business as a full-time partner. For everyone else, this line is a universal cliché for finance applicants.
Better Alternative
"I missed by $20, and my father took $20 from my allowance. I calculated the budget again and saw why I was wrong."
Now this is interesting – miscalculation has a cost. The reader will empathize with you.
Cliche #7: The Investor Quote
"Price is what you pay. Value is what you get."
Why it Fails: Any line quoting Warren Buffett is now a cliché. Avoid it.
Better Alternative
"We charged $1 dollars extra for every new repeat sale. It worked"
Any unique pricing mechanism in your industry or function should be presented in the opening line with an interesting hook.
Later you can explain how your financial planning was integral to marketing or pricing play.
Show the AdCom that everything is connected.
Cliche #8: The Mega-cap Name-Drop
"In my first month at [large tech company], the CFO asked me a question I could not answer."
Why it Fails: Like the quotes from Warren Buffett, quoting the 'big' employer you worked for has very little influence unless you were the employee of the month or received unique recognitions for your contributions.
Better Alternative
"In my first month I told the CRO that half his projections were priced on an adoption rate none of our live deployments had reached."
The line brings the reader to a 'conflict' narrative. The applicant – a junior employee confronting a CRO about their projections.
Cliche #9: The Macro Zoom-Out
"In a world of rising rates and shrinking margins, disciplined capital allocation matters more than ever."
Why it Fails: Macro Stats is the throat-clearing narrative in MBA essays.
The worst part is not the cliched opening line; it is the switch in mood a thesis-like opening line could have on an admissions person who is not from finance.
Better Alternative
"I looked at our eighteen million dollars of unspent marketing budget in October and decided not to spend a single penny on demand generation."
Another potential conflict narrative – high unspent marketing budget but a decision not to spend anything on demand generation.
Such lines are often an exaggeration.
Unless by the end of the narrative, the applicant is shown as a considerate person who accommodates all points of view and allocates say $10m on demand generation, the adcom will catch such exaggeration.
Cliche #10: AI Is Reshaping Finance
"As AI reshapes finance, the analyst of the future must adapt."
Why it fails: The observation is true and generic at the same time. Stating that AI is changing finance is like saying the Sun rises in the East.
Better Alternative
"What it took me five hours to cobble together 100 datasets from credible but diverse subscriptions - one exported Excel at a time- now takes only 10 minutes with an AI agent"
Show the current state of the technology in your industry.
It is agents now. Next year - it would be something else. Share that 'cutting-edge' technology narrative with the AdCom.
Because Agents have been covered comprehensively in public media, you don't need any context setting either.
Next Step
- Essay Review Service. Line-level review of your draft with Atul Jose
- Winning MBA Essay Guide (M7 MBA Essays)
- Career Planning and Profile Evaluation. Goal setting for a finance applicant choosing M7 and Top MBA Programs (Essays and Careers)
