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MBA Essay Mistake #2 – Structure No Story

I have obsessively ingrained the idea of Structure in all my MBA Application Essay Guides. Some applicants take this idea to the extreme and reach out with special requests.

A few years back, a client asked for edit help with one condition: the opening lines of the four paragraphs shouldn’t be touched. Rest all, she was open to editing comments.

After the 4th iteration, these sacred opening lines in each paragraph didn’t make any sense.

This writing fallacy is what I call – the obsessive-Compulsive Essay Structure Disorder.

People who read poetry tend to have this notion and assume that with just the Structure, you can win over the admissions team.

It rarely works.

Structure helps to get the attention for sure. My entire storytelling section in Winning MBA Essay Guide is about the Structure, but Structure with No Substance is easy to spot. These are essays that Bot-assisted writing sounds like or the 20th iteration of a consultant obsessed with perfect writing creates. It has all the cliches – the opening line in a different language, the emotional lines in the middle, the action in the 2nd paragraph, the vision – closer to the concluding paragraph, and the motivation in the concluding paragraph.

Strangely, the essay lacks soul.

So, how do you make sure that you don’t overdo the Structuring of the Essay

1) Opening Line

Despite my criticism of opening lines in a different language or a phrase that forces the reviewer to think, such cliches work. The problem is the obsession with the opening line – so much so that the applicant doesn’t pay enough attention to the transitions, the 2nd, 3rd, or even the 4th paragraph.

2) Opening Paragraph

A better approach to writing Winning MBA Application Essays is to focus on the opening paragraph. The hook in the opening line is a hit or miss, depending on the essay reviewer’s worldview or your exposure to different writing styles. Even the best opening line, followed by a cliched narrative, will put the essay reviewer back on the defensive. Like copywriters say – each line should encourage the reader to read the next line with enthusiasm. When I review essays, I obsess about each line. The opening paragraph should set the expectations, hook the reviewer, and encourage the reader to swiftly move to the second paragraph.

Good Books have this quality. You want to know more.

It doesn’t happen naturally. It typically takes 3-5 iterations to reach that stage. See how I do it.

3) The Middle – Substance

A structure obsession that you should develop is about the middle. I don’t see any consultant or applicant talking about the middle. It is where a reader loses attention. The W-pattern example I shared in the MBA application essay guide is one way to bring the attention of the reviewer to your story. You can motivate the reader to pay attention in many more ways. One common strategy is sharing the vision for a beneficiary that aligns with your long-term goal. Long-term goals have value when you are applying to M7 schools. Lofty visions don’t always translate to believable narratives for the rest of the schools. They are not looking for visionaries. They want candidates who fit the culture of the school. Understanding the different strategies for each target school would help you customize the narrative.

4) Motivation as Conclusion – Cliché But Works

A structural cliché that works is the motivation to join the program in the concluding paragraph. It is often surprising to see applicants miss this important essay structure. Reiterate your motivation. There are many ways to phrase motivation in the concluding paragraph. For help, subscribe to F1GMAT’s Essay Editing Service, where I will help you create persuasive essays.

 

About the Author 

Atul Jose - Founding Consultant F1GMAT

I am Atul Jose - the Founding Consultant at F1GMAT.

Over the past 15 years, I have helped MBA applicants gain admissions to Harvard, Stanford, Wharton, MIT, Chicago Booth, Kellogg, Columbia, Haas, Yale, NYU Stern, Ross, Duke Fuqua, Darden, Tuck, IMD, London Business School, INSEAD, IE, IESE, HEC Paris, McCombs, Tepper, and schools in the top 30 global MBA ranking. 

I offer end-to-end Admissions Consulting and editing services – Career Planning, Application Essay Editing & Review, Recommendation Letter Editing, Interview Prep, assistance in finding funds and Scholarship Essay & Cover letter editing. See my Full Bio.

Contact me for support in school selection, career planning, essay strategy, narrative advice, essay editing, interview preparation, scholarship essay editing and guiding supervisors with recommendation letter guideline documents

I am also the Author of the Winning MBA Essay Guide, covering 16+ top MBA programs with 240+ Sample Essays that I have updated every year since 2013 (11+ years. Phew!!)

I am an Admissions consultant who writes and edits Essays every year. And it is not easy to write good essays. 

Contact me for any questions about MBA or Master's application. I would be happy to answer them all