I was watching the 1944 movie Laura (spoilers), where one of the main characters, played by Clifton Web, spoke with a diction and style that was commonplace in 1910-1920 plays but came across as snobbish for 1940 talkies.
The protagonist – the detective, on the other hand, had a simple demeanor and way of communication that, as an audience from the next century, I could relate to. The writers gave Web unique dialogues that came across as impersonal. The clever lines were a trademark for the character, but when the moment came to empathize with the character’s motivation, the lines were the biggest hindrance.
Simplicity is one likeability factor that cuts across generations and cultures.
In MBA Essays, there are even more subtle likeability factors. From my editing and writing experience, here are 6 I found to influence M7 and T15 MBA Admission decisions:
1) Subtle Heroism
An acquaintance calls me every three years to update me about his adventures, the deals he closed, the money he made and even taunts to hint that I am missing a gold mine in his industry. The 3-year gap is not by accident. I had to pretend not to see his calls or purposely avoid him at parties and meetings.
Don’t let the admissions team avoid you.
In MBA applications, most of the boasting is boasting when the metrics that the applicant assumes to be great are great for a small peer group but expected when applying to HSW.
Heroism is subtle when the context is known, like medical supply shortage during the pandemic, AI’s encroachment and subsequent job loss, or offering rehabilitation for those affected by the war in the Middle East.
The universal awareness of the context is crucial for making subtle heroism work. The moment you offer additional context for a heroic gesture beyond the actions you took or the context a well-read admissions person might know, you lose the reviewer’s attention.
2) Conversational
This is the trickiest part of working with clients for F1GMAT’s Essay Editing service.
Journal/Diary -> Blog -> Essay -> Article -> Memo
The informality of the language that the admissions team expects from an Essay falls in between a blog and an article. This is a blog where I am talking about an acquaintance, Laura - the movie, and giving you ‘advice’ as if I am talking to you. That is the expected tone in a blog.
Essays mimic a blog, but it has a reflective first-person tone.
Imagine your essay read by Morgan Freeman as a voice-over. Will it sound great even for Mr. Freeman?
3) More Action, More Context, Less Scenery
Another likeability factor is the emphasis on the actions an applicant took.
Many times, applicants get carried away by offering context or get stuck in the first draft where flowery phrases or elaborate context building is tolerated by the admissions consultant. But then a time comes when the excesses are trimmed, a structure created, and action emphasized to show the admissions team who you are.
Actions speak louder than words. In an MBA essay, you need more action than scenery.
4) Dialogues (1-3)
The debate is still on whether 1 or 3 dialogues are tolerated. I would say it depends on the story. I had seen three dialogues in critical parts of the essay to show coming full circle in an applicant’s journey. Each of these three dialogues was critical to create the effect.
I have seen most applicants limiting the dialogue to the opener and then offering context.
Another effective narrative strategy I saw in the last two admission cycles is dialogues in the beginning and the end – the end in a serendipitous tone and in the beginning to create intrigue about the applicant’s journey.
5) Supporting Characters – Don’t take away the Attention
I am not exaggerating when the applicant writes two paragraphs about their father, mother, or grandparents before even introducing them in the picture. Only when I point out the flaw in the edit, do applicants explore other narrative strategies to introduce them early in the essay.
Supporting character is essential to maintain subtle heroism in the essay. But if you spend more than 1-2 sentences on the person, the story pivots from you to the supporting character.
6) Monosyllabic Words
I have yet to complete a book written by an author who uses wordy lines or writes in a roundabout fashion. It's not worth my time. In essays, the admissions person who has volume goals will also not tolerate words or phrases that need a dictionary on the side to understand.
If you want to see what I mean, go to The Harvard Crimson’s comment section. It is full of readers who feel that to comment on any publication with Harvard name attached to it; you have to write like a British aristocrat from the 19th century.
Use monosyllabic words and focus instead on the rhythm of a sentence.
To edit and mentor you into creating Winning MBA Essays, Subscribe to F1GMAT’s Essay Editing Service. I will help you through the entire process.
